I Don't Feel Qualified

Whoever invented blogs is a pure genius in my opinion.  One blog I have been reading for a while is Chatting at the Sky, by a woman named Emily Freeman.  Recently, she posted about how she has been speaking and presenting at writing conferences nationally, and her own amazement that God has given her a gift that she can share.  But her observations are applicable to many other career fields and talents. Here is part of her post:

   "Anytime we begin to discover hints of our own design, the challenge is to know whether or not we should trust it.  How do I know this isn't just me? Am I making this stuff up? Is it selfish to pursue this? And then, there is this one that comes as a statement with a heavy question: I don't feel qualified.  But aren't we all Peter and John, unschooled and ordinary when it comes to the things that matter?  Things of influence and world change and heart?  These men in Acts 4 spoke with boldness, clarity, and conviction.  The leaders were stunned."

In the last few months, the questions Emily listed have run through my own head.  It started as, "God wants me to go to Haiti with my family and live there? For real?  Am I making this up?"  And then, when we gathered a prayer team and THEY prayed and came back to us with the same direction, I knew it wasn't just me.  When I prayed day in and day out that God would open the doors He wanted us to go through and then HE DID... Then, I knew I wasn't making any of it up.

Now I'm working through that last statement.  I don't feel qualified.

I AM going to be teaching English while I'm in Haiti, and I DO feel qualified in that area, because I have an English degree--two of them!  And, I spent 4 years as a teacher and then 10 years as a writer for a kind-of-big insurance company, so I even have some professional experience.... But, teaching English isn't the REAL reason I'm going to Haiti.  I'm pretty sure God wants me there for much more than that.

I've been so encouraged by Acts 4 as I've read through it.  If you are facing any kind of new endeavor, I encourage you to read it.  Peter and John didn't have a master's degree in evangelism.  They weren't the sons of kings or leaders. And yet, Acts 4:13 says: "When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus."

That's what I want.  I want the people I meet to see my courage, realize that I'm just an ordinary person, and take note that I've been with Jesus.